My favorite Brene Brown quote & why it matters in trauma therapy
updated 8/26/26
TLDR: Brené Brown’s idea of having a “strong back, soft front, and wild heart” offers a powerful way to think about emotional resilience. We can be strong and grounded without becoming emotionally guarded—and we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable without losing our sense of self.
For people who have experienced trauma, this balance can be especially difficult. Trauma can teach us to protect ourselves by shutting down, staying in control, or avoiding difficult emotions. Therapy can help us develop a different relationship with vulnerability, emotions, and self-protection—one that allows both strength and softness.
In this post, I explore what Brené Brown’s framework can teach us about vulnerability, emotional flexibility, and healing, and how these ideas can be relevant to the work of trauma therapy in NYC.
I have been a fan of Brene Brown’s writings for a long time. Her work on vulnerability and shame and feelings is so important – for all of us.
And there’s so much of it that resonates for me, both personally and professionally.
But there’s one quote that I keep saying, over and over, in my trauma therapy sessions.
Strong back. Soft front. Wild heart.
It’s so simple but so good.
What this Brene Brown quote encourages us to do
Feelings can be messy.
But it is possible to be able to feel more than one at a time.
To feel feelings that may seem to contradict each other – like softness and strength – at the same time.
To just be our wild-hearted, bad-ass selves.
How this Brene Brown quote relates to trauma therapy
One feeling doesn’t need to define you. But somewhere along the way, that started to feel safer.
So you learned early on – you learned how to shove away or ignore the feelings that were “too much”. To embody just one role in your family – the good girl, the oldest, the one Mom doesn’t have to worry about.
And that worked for a while. Until it stopped working.
I think why this quote is so related to trauma therapy (and to the way I work specifically) is that it holds – and invites – more than one feeling.
You don’t have to be just strong. Or just soft.
And you don’t have to be stuck – or disconnected from your feelings – anymore.
Trauma therapy in NYC can help you get unstuck
What would it be like to feel a little bit of more than one feeling (instead of stuck in black or white thinking)? To hold one in each hand, to have the flexibility to move between softness and strength. To not be stuck.
To have the capacity for softness – in your relationships, with how you talk to yourself, with really feeling all your feelings.
And the ability to be strong – to make shifts in your life, to stand up for yourself, to draw clear boundaries
.And to remember and reclaim the wildness of your own heart – whatever that means for you.
This is the work of childhood trauma therapy.
It can be hard to move away from long-held patterns in your relationships and your inner world – but you deserve to get unstuck.
If you're ready to get unstuck, I would love to connect.
About the Author
Maya is a music therapist and psychotherapist in NYC and online throughout New York State. She specializes in helping women with anxiety, childhood/intergenerational trauma and those who are highly sensitive (HSP) feel good enough, learn how to express their feelings without overwhelm, and show up in calm and confident ways in their work and relationships.
If you’re interested in working with Maya, you can learn more here or schedule your free therapy intro call here.
You don’t have to stay stuck - it’s time to reclaim your rhythm.